If you don’t come from a big family, managing a family of six may seem overwhelming. Some days, it is super overwhelming: getting people from here to there, making food to feed a small army, making appointments, and maintaining hobbies.
But the joy that bursts through our home outweighs the challenges… most days. We are so blessed to have 4 healthy, beautiful children. But chaos… we are never short of chaos also pulsing through our home. We must have systems and routines to manage everything and keep it semi-controllable.
In this post, you’ll learn how we:
- Create systems and routines
- Embrace the chaos
- Implement practical strategies
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Create systems and routines
I love a good system. I love a workflow and organization. When you have 6 people with their personalities and levels of tidiness, things get… well, cluttered and messy. I’m a non-aesthetic mama with a house that I lived in. You won’t find pristine walls and floors; you won’t find white on white on white. You will see piles on the counters and everyone’s stuff scattered like breadcrumbs through each room. But in the chaos of it– here’s how I try to keep things under control.
Meal plan
I have a meal plan that I can set for 8 weeks and forget. I get bored with it sometimes, and then I wing it… which never goes well. No matter the meal rotation, I always have a bank of meals my family enjoys that I can plug into the week. With this plan, grocery shopping becomes a breeze, as I know exactly what I need.
Speaking of grocery shopping, another thing I do as a mom with toddlers (and teens) is grocery pick-up. It saves me time and money. I always look in the kitchen and pantry to see what we have on hand, so I only buy what we will use. However, if the chicken is on sale, I almost always buy it to freeze it for later.
Laundry and chores
My big kids always do their own laundry, which they have done since they were about 8. I take care of my laundry, my husband’s, and the babies’ laundry– which I loathe. I swear you can fit 178 items in one load of baby laundry. We try to keep to scheduled days so that we aren’t all waiting in line to throw a load in on Sunday afternoons.
- Sunday- Teen 1
- Monday- Mom, Babies
- Tuesday- Dad
- Wednesday- Towels (extra day if someone needs it)
- Thursday- Bedding (extra day if someone needs it)
- Friday- Dad #2 (he has a dirty job and makes a TON of laundry)
- Saturday- Teen 2
As for other chores, the big kids each have their own chores, which rotate weekly. Typically, one person cleans up dinner, does the dishes, and tidies the kitchen, while the other picks up the living room and cleans the floors throughout the house. As part of their responsibilities of living in our home as part of this family, they don’t get paid for their normal chores.
My husband typically handles the house’s outside chores, trash, and handyman stuff. I try to take care of at least one household chore daily while home with the littles. Here is what my normal schedule looks like:
- Monday- Laundry, clear clutter from the weekend
- Tuesday- Kitchen: wipe appliances, counters, chairs, clear clutter
- Wednesday- Bathrooms, dust, clear clutter
- Thursday- Tidy playroom, sweep/scrub playroom floor, wipe switches/knobs
- Friday- Our bedroom, babies room
Sometimes, these don’t get done, and I try not to get too worked up about it. I always look at what will add joy to our home, and if it’s playing with the babies versus cleaning the microwave… the microwave can wait.
Schedules and time management
Ensuring we aren’t overbooked, and everyone gets where they need to go is also a challenge in a big family. Sometimes, we are in the car just dropping off and picking up for the entire evening. But to keep us all on the same page, we use a shared Google Calendar tied into our Echo Show, allowing anyone to view, add to, and edit upcoming events.
We also try to schedule plenty of downtime and family time. This time can be flexed to do things around the house, make plans with other families, or chill at home. Keeping a schedule is key to balancing our busy lives.
Embrace the chaos
There is so much joy in a big family. It is wild and crazy; sometimes, this mama needs time to catch her bearings. But I am working hard to understand that I cannot control everything, and there will be times when everything is chaos. I strive to take those moments as an opportunity to be grateful and find joy. It will be messy and imperfect, but it is beautiful.
Having toddlers and teens adds another layer of chaos, from the big bus I drive and car seats to finding activities everyone can enjoy. It is such a blessing, and I am so grateful we have these kids.
An important factor for handling the chaos long-term is self-care. I make sure I have time for journaling, working out, and friends. We also try to get date nights in there so we can connect as husband and wife. Sometimes, I only need a few minutes to reset… sit outside and let the sun hit my face before the madness begins.
Implementing practical strategies
Whether you have a big family or just one kid, implementing new strategies or systems can make it hard to get everyone on board. I try to teach my kids as I go.
For the big kids, that looks like showing them how to manage a household so they are prepared for their own one day. Show them how to do chores and then delegate those chores to them. For the toddlers, that looks like being an enforcer for cleaning up their toys even when it’s “too many work,” according to my 3-year-old.
We all have a place in this family, and each of us makes up the smooth-ish sailing of the ship. So, when we all do our part, there is less chaos and conflict.
We also started implementing a minimal-ish household. This involves an entire house cleanout, purging things we don’t use, a toy rotation, and just less stuff. This makes the environment less chaotic, which, in turn, makes our minds and hearts less chaotic.
There are things we do really well and things we still struggle with. Each family has their own unique personality, and what works for one may not work for another. But one thing I know for sure: it is a wild, beautiful ride, and I am so glad I get to be on it. Embrace the perfectly imperfect journey God put you on.
To help, here are editable chore chart, to-do list, and meal rotations you can use for your family.
