I struggled with not wanting to work because I could not prioritize my family or my husband. I was a hot mess, and I knew something had to change. I met with my dear friend, and we talked about how I needed to do something radical. I needed to be weird.
If you live in this world, I know you can relate. The unrealistic expectations that are stacked upon us day in and day out. As women in this world, we have decided that we will not be a generation that will be taken care of and that we will not be homemakers like those before us. We will provide for ourselves and all that we need.
No wonder we are also a generation of women who are more stressed and exhausted than ever. We have dominated so much of our lives with this masculine energy to provide and not be pushed around in the workplace. I just had this conversation with a friend, and she asked how we can just turn that off when we go home to our husbands. How do we shift gears and let him drive the male energy in the home?
The culmination of a lifetime of being told to get a college education and a good job so you can take care of yourself and then doing that exact thing led me to a monumental decision… a decision to walk away.
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Weird
I knew there would be considerable changes in our standard of living. We were going from a two-income household with my steady, high-paying job to a single-income family with the variable pay of a blue-collar entrepreneur—this is no dig on my husband or blue-collar jobs. I support the trades and my husband’s innate skillset wholeheartedly. I am just saying that this income was going to be different… less than we were used to.
During this time of transition, my friend gave me Craig Groeschel’s book Weird. This book changed my perspective on many things. Here is a look at the big nuggets I gleaned from it.
Time
Groeschel says, “You have enough time to do everything God wants you to do.” How often do we float through this life saying, “I don’t have enough time.”? I would guess that there are at least one or two things this week alone that you said you didn’t have time for.
What that really means is that we most likely need to use our time differently. We will always find time to do what is important to us, which means what isn’t… well, we don’t have time for it. But the question is, is what you are spending your time on what you should be spending your time on?
I was spending most of my time at work and giving the people who matter most to me my leftovers. And I knew I needed to change that. I would never get this time back with my family, but there could be a time when I could go back to work if that’s where God leads me.
Groeschel also points out that we put so much emphasis on being busy that we wear it as a badge of honor. The busier we are, naturally, the more successful we are, right? Or is it? I shared my thoughts on this in a Morning Walk Talk. We need to stop celebrating our packed schedules and little time for rest.
Money
The weird thing about money is that we feel there is never enough, and we always know someone who has more than we do. And our relationship with that money is tied to what’s going on in our lives and our experiences thus far.
Groeschel notes that 50% of the world lives on less than $2 a day. I’m sorry, what? When you consider those outside your immediate home, you will find people living on less than you have.
We live in a country where it is completely normal to have monthly bills and credit card debt, affording our desires by the minimum payment method. That normal also comes with worry, anxiety, and fear… concern for the ability to make it to the next paycheck, concern for putting food on the table, and this wild concern for looking like you have money.
So often, this cycle of not having enough drives us to greed. But what if we were generous with our money, our things, the stuff we just had to have? What if we gave to our church, sold our things, and gave to those in need? Well, then our relationship with money would be a little different, wouldn’t it?
I could tell you countless stories of how I have seen God work through the people in my church family to provide for us and those around us. I’ve seen people blessed with vehicles, shoes, drum sets, water heaters, washers and dryers, food, clothes, money, gift cards, and the list goes on and on. Our small group literally bought us a dishwasher.
When we consider our money God’s money and give willingly and with a joyful heart, we are doing God’s work… we are blessing His people, and that is weird and beautiful.
Relationships
We live in a throwaway society. Everything is disposable, and nothing has to be forever. That includes marriages. And listen! I have been there. I understand. Sometimes, things do not work out. And it is weird to think you aren’t just looking for “the one.” In fact, my husband is my two…, and God is my one.
When you both put God first, it doesn’t make your marriage easy by any means. But it does make it easier to work together, compromise, and do life together. And the other part of God as your one and your spouse as your two… your kids are below your spouse. I know that’s a hard one to live out practically—I struggle with it daily, especially because we are in a season of tiny humans who need me for almost everything.
A key to keeping your marriage healthy is dating. Dating your spouse and committing to not letting what brought you together fall to the wayside. We are still navigating this; it is hard to commit to dating when you have kids, jobs, responsibilities, etc. But as I said earlier, we make time for what is important.
We recently started a cycle with friends of dropping everyone’s kids off and having two couples babysit while the third couple gets date night. When you have a community around you that is like-minded and committed to being weird, you can hold each other accountable and support each other as you navigate.
Normal is overrated. Living a life poured out for God and His Kingdom is weird and beautiful. I talked about time, money, and relationships, but Weird also covers sex and values. These are no less important; they are just not covered in this blog.
I am still working on being weird, and I reread this book every year because I am a work in progress… I am the definition of imperfect and always trying to be better– living less of me and more of Jesus.
Honestly, there is SO much more in this book that this brief blog does no justice. If you think you need a change and maybe, just maybe, you are ready for things to look a little weird in your life, grab the book… and a pen and get started.
