Whether you have one kid or four, motherhood comes with its fair share of chaos. What we do in the chaos defines us and shows what kind of mother we are. Now, I am not saying that you have to be a certain way– to each her own! But I am saying there is a way to find joy in the chaos. What I am saying is that you can feel empowered to shed the societal pressures and live fully in the chaos that is motherhood.
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How to be present in the chaos
The playroom is a mess; there is clutter on the counters from this morning’s sensory bins, and laundry needs to be put away… but the littles want to play with blocks. Now we have a couple of choices… we can let the littles explore and play independently– which is super important. We can make them help us do chores– teaching them responsibility. We can ignore the mess and sit down and build towers, trains, and dino houses– we can enjoy playing with them, creating memories, giggles, and joy.
There is no right or wrong way to choose your adventure here. Each has its unique benefits and can be implemented at different times throughout the day or week. My point is… don’t let the “I should…” get in the way of joy.
Right now, take your list of “I shoulds,” crumple it up, and spend time with the people living in your home. Be in the chaos instead of just watching it.
Take what you can get
Ya know how sometimes it feels like you have slept about 5 hours the entire week? Take that moment when the kids are playing to sit and rest. Rest is so good for you; sometimes, you have to take it in the in-between when a thousand other things should be done.
Or maybe it’s talking to your teens, and you only get 5 minutes in the car with them in the morning… make the most of it and seize that opportunity to connect with them one-on-one.
Or maybe it’s sitting next to your husband after the kids are all in bed, only for you to fall asleep before you even have the chance to talk… sit a little closer so when you do inevitably fall asleep, he can be your pillow.
Or maybe it’s hiding in the closet eating an ice cream sandwich so you don’t have to share or running to the store every day for milk just so you can have 15 minutes of alone time.
In this season, you have to take what you can get. And sometimes it feels like what you can get is these little snippets of time that somehow string together to make your life.
Gratitude for the small things
If you’ve been a mom for more than five minutes, you know it can be a very unforgiving, thankless job. It can feel draining and exhausting. Someone always needs something, and you evidently are the only one who can fulfill that need… even when Dad is sitting right there and is able-bodied.
In those moments, I encourage you to find something small to be grateful for. We can overlook the little things in the face of the storm. When last night’s jammies are thrown all over the living room, breakfast still isn’t cleaned up, and the toy bin just got dumped… be grateful that your little one is here, your little one has a bed to sleep in, food to eat, and imagination to engage in play.
I know it’s hard, mama. When the walls are closing in, and you feel alone and run down, it can feel so impossible to be grateful at that moment. But when you find that seed of gratitude, plant it… water it… and watch it grow into a beautiful life that you find every opportunity to be grateful for.
What I know for sure is it won’t be like this for long. The day will come when tiny toddlers become teens and teens become young adults. Relish every moment. Find a reason for joy in every moment. Let the dishes sit, pull your laundry out of the basket instead of the closet, and be present in this moment because this moment will never happen again.
